hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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