He uses pillows to masturbate.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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