he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
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