he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
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Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
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I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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