the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize