she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
