The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
