pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
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