.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
