Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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