Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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