you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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