a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
