I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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