craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
