The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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