Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
