At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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