i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
