I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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