I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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