i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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