There is no way he is gay with that hair.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
