im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
