...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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