She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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