I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
