im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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