Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
