I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
