drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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