Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You work out of a Hotel?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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