Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I queefed so loud it echoed.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
do nipples grow back?
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