You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
