You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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