you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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