just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize