Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
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Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
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If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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