overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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