I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
