the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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