Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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