Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
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