U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
