goodnight i made you a song goodbye
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
