he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
