they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
