I didn't shave. On purpose
Pants 0. Shit 1.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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