Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
