i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
