She is in my trunk
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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