we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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