Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
