I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
