Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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