office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
