Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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