My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
