I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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