S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
