Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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