Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Congratulations! We have a period
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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