What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
